Usually when I think of fall, especially at the beginning of Sept, I think about new beginnings, learning and change. This year my thinking seems to be on Intimacy. I mentioned last month I’m participating in Emmanuel Dagher’s “Core Healing” and this past week the theme was on Divine Partners. The topic of intimacy came up and I believe due to the fact that today Venus enters Libra and Jupiter is transiting into Libra early this month (Sept 9th) the focus for many of us will be on relationships this fall and for the next year (romantic, friends and colleagues) as Jupiter will be in Libra till Oct 2017.
I love the word “Intimacy” as it brings up a series of thoughts and ideas; it is about ‘seeing me’. Do you remember the movie Avatar? The beautiful piece of that movie was their deep understanding of ‘seeing someone’ as they are; their inner essence. When it comes to creating intimacy with others, romantic and otherwise, we need to start with ourselves.
Intimacy is the ability to truly be seen, which many of us crave. To be acknowledged, accepted, heard, seen, appreciated etc. are all words that we use to describe what we seek from a deep place within.
However, I believe intimacy is also our deepest fear. We spend most of our time focused outside of ourselves, worrying about what others think about us. We spend a great deal of time trying to make others see us, but ultimately we worry about what they see. We focus on their perceptions, their beliefs, what they may or may not be saying about us and we get upset when we think we aren’t being seen and when others think unkindly of us. The irony of this is that it is none of our business. Truly the only thing that matters is not what others think of us but what we feel deep within us and whether we remember our inner essence of our Soul. We will never know what others think or feel nor will we know what they are being triggered over when it ‘appears’ that they are upset with us. And we can’t worry about that; because it is not within our control. The only thing we are in charge of is how we feel within us. The thing with this is we often are so focused outside that we don’t remember it is a choice how we feel inside.
What does this have to do with Intimacy (into-me-see) and our deepest fear of being seen? You may be wondering. Here is what I’m thinking: the more we focus outside, the more unconscious we are of our ‘discomforts’ or how we are feeling. We have become unconscious of our fears.
These fears of ‘intimacy’ come early in our lives – as soon as love becomes conditional. Once love becomes conditional – we worry about whether we meet the conditions of being loved and lovable. These fears also come from the collective unconscious where women were persecuted for stepping into their power and BEing seen. We have all had countless lives were being “seen” meant death, literally. Ultimately, we don’t feel safe BEing seen. And if this is the case, even though we desire on a deep level to BE seen by another, we fear it even more unconsciously (or consciously in some cases).
This is why ‘intimacy’ must start within first. Remember my post “What would you do… if you Loved Yourself?”? It was retraining you to consider how you would act, respond, and BE in the world knowing you loved yourself. If we desire others to ‘into-me-see’, then we must also see our true essence; the wholeness within us that will never change.
Yet we do many things to sabotage ourselves from BEing and remembering our true Self. Addictions, health issues, weight issues and focusing outside ourselves are all ways we sabotage our growth and hinder our remembering that we are already whole and complete. We even hope that a relationship will complete us!
So, how do we shift and BEgin to sincerely See Who we have always been from a place of Wholeness? How do we shift our thoughts from outside to our Inner Essence of BEing?
Ultimately, it becomes a choice. We often believe we have no choice; that things happen and we are constantly dealing with the outcomes of life. However, within us lies a strength that is infinite! Although everyone is different my belief is that this power exists within the Heart where there is a Divine Spark that reflects the ‘oneness’ of Source. It is perfect and Whole as is. We confuse this wholeness by accessing our ‘human’ fears, relying on the mind for everything, and focusing outside ourselves on past and future time lines.
But this Divine BEing that is you is always present and you can access it in many ways. It is the Observer of your life. It can only be accessed within the Now moment. And it is Infinite!
Find your way to access this Infinite Source of You and radiate it outward from the inside. This will allow you to BE seen and to have Intimacy with others because you will BE seen within first. If you are like most of us and desire to finally be ‘seen’ and develop Intimacy (into-me-see) with another in your life then take the time to SEE yourself first. Truly get acquainted with the beauty that exists within you. Face your fears, open your heart and remember you are already Whole.