Recently, I came into contact with an amazing healer Ziad Hashash https://www.facebook.com/ziadhach and have purchased his Divine Partner series that has been an incredible journey into LOVE! He asked this powerful question in his Self-Love session: If you loved yourself what would you do? To ask yourself this for 21 days every time you have to make a decision small or big it is a way to honor your choices and your Divine Child.
As I pondered this question I saw how many times I sabotaged myself. I began making better choices and could see that there are reasons for everything. Last week, Ziad discussed needs and manipulation in the Divine Love section of the series. This was the last piece I needed to help me see – or to have wisdom – as to why certain things were still sabotaging my desire for divine health from the inside out.
Let’s discuss what this means. We have needs and wants that were never met as children and these needs turn into patterns by the age of 7. These needs have blocked us from moving forward towards love. And they never matured into our adult understanding of who we are now. These are usually basic needs such as needing to be loved, needing to be heard, seen, supported, acknowledged, and safe and these needs have affected our self-worth.
Fast forward to whoever you have now become, a ‘you’ who has pushed these needs down into your subconscious and they now come out as manipulations. Not intentionally, but acting out as our wounded inner child who still needs these needs met, we often sabotage ourselves by asking for the needs we had as children to be fulfilled. For example: someone who has been abandoned and didn’t feel safe as a child would still manipulate life around her to have others show her she is now supported or safe. Can you see how this would work? Since we don’t realize this is a need from our 1-7 year old self we manipulate our world around us and we manipulate others so that we can have others show us what we need. The problem with this is that it is manipulating others and we don’t actually get what we need because what we need needs to come from within as we address the real needs of the inner wounded child! However knowing about the how and why of your manipulative actions can give great insights into why things continue to thwart your deeper needs: the healing of the inner child.
I need to make an aside about manipulation here: we aren’t talking about manipulating maliciously; we are talking about how as a small child we needed to have certain needs met, needs related to learning something that we likely contracted to learn in this life. Something that is related to a core belief so that we continue to search for our needs to be met outside of us because we ultimately feel separate from God. Our parents did the best they could and were likely contracted to support our learning by doing something like in my case putting me up for adoption to help me learn about feeling safe and supported. So I searched outside of myself to feel safe and supported while my adoptive parents, friends, and loves could never meet that need no matter how they tried because it wasn’t the outside that was the problem. So, when I would manipulate myself, my body and others it wasn’t malicious. It was to finally understand my need within.
My need within for Divine Health.
Once I asked myself – and healed some of the reasons I was making poor eating choices for example – ‘if I loved myself, what would I do’, I had other areas come up such as pain that was blocking me from being able to move freely! But I wasn’t asking why I had pain? So, where I thought I had healed one area I just brought another up for observation and I became more aware of it because of the pain. My need for feeling safe and supported was now being highlighted.
I realized this ‘pain’ was just another result of where I was sabotaging my health to manipulate myself and others to feel safe and supported within. That was the true problem! All of the past few years of ‘pain’ have been helping me, or trying to help me, see the truth behind my not feeling safe and supported. Because the outside world can’t make me feel safe or supported it is my wounded inner child that is manipulating everything outside to show me my inner beliefs and needs!
No matter how much I change my outside world to reflect how safe and supported I truly am I will continue to manipulate myself and others around me until I can feel safe and supported inside! Yet I would have never seen any of this without the help of this so important question: If you loved yourself, what would you do? And I would never have seen this without the continuous questioning of why certain things are ‘happening’ in my world.
Everything is in our life for a reason! Every person, ache, allergy, dis-ease… everything! Yet if we continue to see everything as personal and continue to engage our ego we will miss the lesson. If we continue to blame and judge another for what is happening in our lives we miss the lesson! If we judge or shame ourselves we miss the lesson. The lesson isn’t outside of us, it is the light that is inside that has been bruised by a belief that we could have chosen before we were even born!
How empowering is the question “if you loved yourself what would you do?” I invite you to continue to dig even deeper into all the pieces of your magnificent puzzle that is YOU! You might uncover why you do the things you do, and shift into just BEing your true essence! You might finally understand your “wounded child” and honor your Divine Child within. You could uncover why you manipulate yourself – and others – and make choices that are healthier and then, shining even greater, the Light that is YOU!